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It seems that the modern world is in its isolation era, leaving us craving the easy comfort of irl camaraderie. Ideally, the kind that comes without the need to buy a ticket or split a bill. Because becoming a villager isn't just a salve for loneliness, it's a rebellion against consumerism.

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After a whole season of following the money, we're wrapping up our finale contemplating how we can create community without it. We're hearing from our community about how they show up as villagers, and how they start their own villages. Turns out you don't need to bean extrovert, have a huge group chat, or be a pillar in your community. You just have to show up. These relationships we make with our community create bonds that strengthen our ability to adapt in climate disasters, financial instability, and even supply chain woes. And getting started is easier than you think.

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Episode Credits

• Listener contributions: Nick Blocha, Elena Demireva, Tavia, Camila Bronson, Jen Horn, Lena
• Research: Makenna McBrierty
• Editing and engineering: Evan Goodchild‍
• Hosting and production: Katelan Cunningham

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Episode Transcript

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Katelan Cunningham (00:00):

Welcome to the Season five finale of Second Nature, a podcast from Commons. Commons is the app that hundreds of thousands of people use to spend their money better and spend less money too. And on this show, we talk to people about how they're living sustainably in an unsustainable world. If you've been following along this season, you know that the theme has been following the money, and we have followed the money, my friends, from airlines to AI data centers. And the thing about following the money and making our dollars count is that it only really counts when you add it all up. All of us together in many ways, a capitalist economy motivates individualism. We see that a lot, especially here in the us. But the idea of being part of a village that dispels the idea that you have to do it all by yourself. When we borrow things from our neighbors instead of buying them, or we ask and offer our skills, then we're able to ditch the default of spending first. We can opt for community over consumerism, but so much of the modern world is really built around individualism. So it can be intimidating to make yourself part of a village, which is why we wanted to end the season with some advice, firsthand stories and questions from our community about how folks are participating in starting their own villages.

Lena Skinner (01:34):

I was really excited when I saw this topic for podcast submissions because one of my favorite quotes for 2026 has been, everybody wants a village but doesn't wanna be a villager. I've always been someone who yearns and craves community so much, but I wasn't putting in the effort to achieve that. I was just waiting for it to come to me. And the whole, we all want a village, but don't wanna be a villager thing, has made me realize that you do have to put in the work. If there isn't a community available for you, you have to create it. And that's been one of my major goals for 2026. Being a young person in 2026 is really hard. If you want to build community without going broke, everything is so expensive. Everybody knows this. Consumerism and capitalism has such a monopoly on our access to third spaces that even like I found myself attending my friend's youth groups as a not religious person and like doing other community events like that because there's nowhere to go that's like secular and free.

Lena Skinner (02:49):

I go to a pretty small boarding school. It can be difficult during downtime, away from classes, away from activities to find people because you have friend groups form and then they all hang out in their own private time, in their bedrooms and stuff like that, and you just don't know when things are happening. So one of my main goals has just been to like, have public hangouts. I'll be sitting in my room on my phone and I'm just lonely. But it's so easy to walk into our cafeteria or one of our common rooms and say, Hey guys, I really wanna play a board game, or I wanna do something. Does anyone wanna join me? So as much as it's kind of embarrassing to say, I've started texting our student body group chat pretty frequently, so all 200. So students <laugh> and saying, Hey guys, does anybody wanna have a cup of tea with me? Or Does anyone wanna go on a walk? Does anyone wanna do this or that? Or if I see a group of people, I'll walk up. And as much as it's like a little nerve wracking to send a message like that to so many people, I often get people that I'm not that close with, they'll message me and they'll say, I'd love to have a cup of tea with you. It's a very simple invitation and it's very spur of the moment, which, um, I think people can appreciate.

Camille Bronson (04:04):

Villages are not found. They are built. You have to be a person that is not flaky. People are used to not feel the consequences of their actions because there's so many options. You can always swipe left and go to the next opportunity. Always, always, always. But villages are built by repetition. They're built by proximity, by sharing constraints. So if you're not long enough, even with in a friendship or a relationship or a family, it's very hard to build that value. So you can start with like a piece of land or creating a garden in your balcony, a consistent contribution to the community in any way, but like really, really make it consistent. And you have to increase your tolerance for imperfection because everyone have amazing ideas. Ideas are free, ideas are cheap, but execution is imperfect and things that are gonna go wrong once you bring those ideas to reality. As a people, we have been out of touch with reality, like social media, internet silos. It makes us entirely disconnected from how things really work. Everything is optimized for convenience over contribution for speed instead of stewardship, access instead of responsibility. So the friction is internal, and we have to rebuild our tolerance for slowness, repetition and delayed reward and villages require people who will not leave at the first inconvenience. You have to be someone that can be reliable. I,

Elena Demireva (05:59):

I love showing up for people in my community, uh, and being other people's cheerleader. I love to celebrate my friends and make a big deal out of their achievements because as we grow older, they're less and less opportunities to celebrate ourselves, and there are less, less people rooting for us. So I would encourage you really to go and tell your yoga teacher that you loved their class or tell coworker that they did really well with their presentation. Tell your local barista that you love the latte art that they made for you, and just be other people's cheerleader. But also on the flip side, I think it's really important to be able to ask for help. I'm someone who finds it very hard to accept help, and lately I've realized that's a big part of being a villager too. I used to hate the feeling of being a burden to other people or asking too much, but this year I really leaned into asking people for favors and they almost always say yes.

Elena Demireva (07:18):

For an example, an old acquaintance of mine took my professional headshots for free and we ended up grabbing lunch and reconnecting, and I gave her some, um, work advice as well, and we kind of managed to reconnect. Or a bit early in the month, a friend took care of my plants for a whole month while I was away. And I realized that asking for help also brought me closer to them, and it opened the door for a more meaningful friendship where they might feel like they can also rely on me and they can also reach out for support.

Jen Horn (08:03):

I'm the person who even <laugh>, even as an introvert or even as a person who's also previously burnt herself out from putting events together, still realizes that she seeks them out. And time. And again, I'll find myself organizing events just to bring people together. And yeah, like the more low stakes, the events, the the more fun and less burnt out <laugh> it's likely to be. So yeah, I guess I'm a gatherer. I'm also <laugh>. I, I joke to my friends that I'm a venue partner, so my, my home has been like the space for a lot of different potlucks, a lot of different gatherings for different circles of friends or for multiverses of friends. Yeah, it, it's really made this home more alive and a more meaningful place to be. And I'm glad that it provides this space for others. But also recently several friends of mine have, you know, just been trying to look for different ways to gather.

Jen Horn (09:11):

Like we, we've done this like anti algorithm culture club where, you know, people can just gather and maybe like geek out or like nerd out on something that they're really into that might not otherwise show up on your feed. So it's like a counterculture culture club, if you will. Or even ance or like connection hangouts, like, so that's something that we also started when we came out with the nyan guards initially. So it's really just a space to hang out, you know, ask each other these questions that we might not normally ask each other and, you know, just be offline for a moment and not be stuck to our phones and really being present with each other. We're sold this idea of, you know, self-care as, um, a massage or an expensive skincare routine or an isolated vacation. But sometimes we also need to be reminded that self-care is in the collective. And that to be a villager is to believe in a culture of collective care.

Nick Blocha (10:23):

It's a lot about helping others even when it's inconvenient, bringing food to people who are hurting or have gone through something asking, how are you? It's moving a table or watching the animals when your friends are away driving someone to an appointment or to the doctors or to the airport. It's about coming together and seeing where our neighbors, our friends and our community have these gaps and what I have the capacity to help with.

Tavia  (10:58):

I became a first time parent in 2020, and I was so uncomfortable by the level of constant consumption that goes along with having kids that I tried to do as much stuff secondhand as I could. Clothes, toys, books, games, most of which are used for such a short amount of time before it's outlived or outgrown. So I was really inspired by commons. And as part of your 2024 Earth Exchange, I set up a family focused swap shop event with a focus on children's items. We ran it totally for free. People could bring what they could, even if that was nothing and they could take as much as they wanted. I didn't set any limits and it was such a success that I was approached by the local council to make it a regular event. And since then I've been running them seasonally for the past two years.

Tavia  (11:47):

Running these events has really made me feel like a bit Aja. I get around 30 to 50 families come through every time. They bring with them some wonderful donations. They're so generous and a real spirit of community. The items left at the end are then taken by local charity who supply vulnerable families with items that they really need. So by working as a team and sharing our resources, we really are helping a huge amount of people running the swap shops. And trying to be a villager to local parents has really helped to solidify my belief that we are so much better off and we share, and that constant consumerism doesn't have to be the norm. And I'm clearly not alone in that feeling.

Elena Demireva (12:29):

My favorite places where I found community in London are at my weekly yoga classes. I also do a monthly creative writing class that's hosted by my local library and it's free. Um, so that's been amazing. And I also love going to community organized art events. So I would really encourage you to find a weekly activity that you enjoy. Going to the same class regularly means that you see the same group of people and it gives you a little bit more time to build a bond with them and to get to know them. It also removes the difficulty of figuring out when and where to meet others. You have this scheduled event that you can look forward to every week. My other piece of advice is to search for people with similar interests. So don't choose something way out of your comfort zone if you are not a naturally extroverted person. Don't go for a really high stakes networking event. If that's not your vibe, just choose a place that you are more likely to meet people who are like-minded to you. And I'm sure that you'll find lots of kind, generous people who are in the same situation as you. Um, and if you live in London, I would really encourage you to check out your local library or your local community center because they've always got great opportunities to, to meet people and they're usually free. That's it from me. Thank you so much.

Katelan Cunningham (14:21):

I

Katelan Cunningham (14:21):

Feel like we've built a little village here on this show. I hope you feel that too. I love hearing from all of you all around the world. It reminds me that I'm not alone, but I also need to take the advice from the episode and work on becoming a villager in my own real life community. I hope you join me. Thank you for listening and for following the money this season. The way we spend and don't spend our money is so, so important. And relying on community is such a big part of that. As we're wrapping up this season and making plans for the next, it would really mean a lot if you'd write a review of the show and also tell your friends so we can keep this thing going. We'd also love to hear your voice on the show next season. Be sure you're following us on Instagram at Second Nature Earth, and if you haven't yet, also download the Commons app if you're here in the US or in Canada, so you don't miss our call for submissions when it comes up. Thank you to all the folks who shared on today's episode. You heard from

Lena Skinner (15:20):

Lena. I am from Ontario, Canada.

Camille Bronson (15:24):

Camille Bronson, New York City,

Jen Horn (15:26):

Jen Horn in the Philippians,

Nick Blocha (15:29):

Nick Blanca, Milford, Iowa,

Elena Demireva (15:31):

Elena Damir River. I'm based in London,

Tavia (15:34):

Tavia, and I live in the uk.

Katelan Cunningham (15:37):

This episode and every single episode of Second Nature Ever was edited and engineered by the fabulous Evan. Good child. It was written and produced by me, Kaitlyn Cunningham. Thanks for another swell season. Y'all. Catch you later.